In the field of online dating, a variety of “dating skills” and “routine games” have become popular: deliberately cold violence to raise one’s value, fabricate perfect personalities to attract matches, pretend to be reserved to hang the other party’s appetite, and use various routines to guide the other party to take the initiative. Many people believe that playing games and using routines is the shortcut to win favor and quickly get dates. However, these so-called skills can only create temporary attraction. Once the true self is exposed, the relationship will collapse rapidly. A large number of practical cases prove that honesty is the most reliable long-term strategy in online dating. Abandon impetuous game-playing and stick to sincere expression, so that you can establish stable and lasting emotional connections on dating apps.
First of all, clarify the essential harm of game-playing and false routines to online relationships. All routines are based on disguise and deception. When you pretend to be a person who you are not, you need to spend a lot of energy to maintain the false personality in the follow-up communication. You have to remember the lies you said, cater to the preferences of the other party against your own nature, and always worry about the truth being exposed. This state of pretending is very tired, and it cannot show your true charm. The attraction brought by routines is also superficial: the other party likes the false image you create, not the real you. When the relationship develops to offline meetings or in-depth communication, the gap between disguise and reality will become increasingly obvious. The sense of trust collapses in an instant, and the relationship that is painstakingly operated will end in failure. In addition, game-playing such as deliberate coldness and appetite-hanging will make both sides fall into mutual suspicion. No one dares to express their true thoughts, and the communication becomes a tug-of-war. This kind of relationship full of calculation has no warmth at all.
Honesty in online dating runs through every link from profile production, opening chat to offline interaction. The first manifestation is the authenticity of the profile. Do not use overly modified photos, do not fabricate false hobbies, jobs and life experiences. Write your real personality, daily life and dating expectations in the bio frankly. Your ordinary but real profile will filter out people who only pursue vanity and attract those who appreciate your true self. Although a real profile may reduce the number of temporary matches, the remaining matches are all based on recognition of your true self, and the foundation of subsequent communication is more solid.
In daily chatting, honesty is reflected in sincere expression and truthful response. Do not deliberately use ambiguous words to create ambiguity, do not pretend to like the other party’s hobbies in order to cater to them, and do not perfunctorily reply when you are not in the mood to chat. If you are busy with work and have no time to chat, frankly tell the other party instead of disappearing for no reason. If you do not agree with their views, express your thoughts politely instead of blind flattery. Sincere communication allows both sides to understand each other’s true personality and attitudes in the shortest time. Even if finally you find you are not suitable for each other, you can separate frankly without unnecessary entanglement. Many people worry that honesty will make them lose favor, but in fact, genuine sincerity can gain real respect.
When it comes to date invitation and offline meetings, honesty is the guarantee of safe and smooth development. Do not make false promises such as “I will take you to travel around the world” in order to invite for a date. Put forward realistic and low-pressure meeting plans according to your actual situation. Before the offline meeting, take the initiative to inform the other party of your real appearance characteristics and life state, and do not let the other party have excessive illusions. After meeting, frankly express your feelings: if you feel the personality is compatible and you want to continue to get along, take the initiative to convey goodwill; if you feel there is no spark, refuse politely and frankly, do not perfunctorily drag each other.
Being honest does not mean exposing all privacy without reservation or speaking bluntly regardless of others’ feelings. Honesty needs to be matched with propriety and politeness. Distinguish between “sincere expression” and “blunt speech”. When expressing different opinions or rejection, maintain a gentle attitude and respect the other party’s emotions. Do not take honesty as an excuse to be rude. For private sensitive information, you can choose to keep it appropriately in the early stage of communication. Sincerity is to not take the initiative to deceive, not to force oneself to disclose all secrets.
In the short term, routines and games may let you get more matches and temporary enthusiasm. But in the long run, all relationships based on disguise cannot stand the test of time. Online dating is essentially the encounter between two real people. What everyone is looking for is a partner who can get along frankly and trust each other, not a “masked person” who lives in routines. Put down the so-called dating tricks and game strategies, face every match and every communication with a sincere attitude. Let your words and deeds be consistent with your inner thoughts, and let your true personality bloom naturally. Although the process of sincere dating may be slower, every connection you get is real and reliable. On the road of looking for love, honesty is not the slowest way, but the way that can take you to the farthest place.
